"Ze Goggles, Zey Do Nothing"

See other posts in the "Evaluate the Mack" series.

By now, I'm sure everyone is familiar with Mystery, star of the VH1 show "The Pickup Artist." This guy's mack is so inexplicably huge that he's made a living off his personal mack brand. Though volumes could be written about the details of the Mystery Method, I just want to explore one aspect --

Does anyone see the common thread here? That's right -- it's HUGE FUCKING GOGGLES. Dude has a goggle mack. Mystery has used this trick for a while, but if season 2 is any indication, he's made the goggles a permanent fixture on his head.

When I think of aesthetics that incorporate goggles as a vital centerpiece, one thing comes to mind: Steampunk.

For the uninitiated:
"'Steampunk fashion' has no set guidelines, but tends to synthesize modern styles as filtered through the Victorian era. This may include gowns, corsets, petticoats and bustles; gentlemen's suits with vests, coats and spats; or even military-inspired garments. Often, steampunk outfits will be accented with a mixture technological and period accessories: timepieces, parasols, goggles and ray guns." - Wikipedia Steampunk Entry

To further my point:
"Every cult has its fetish object. For punk, it's the safety pin; for ravers, it's glow sticks and pacifiers; for cyberpunk, it's mirror-shade sunglasses. For steampunk, it's goggles." -- Wired.com

Given Mystery's attachment to goggles and bizarre Victorian clothing --


Side note: consider this picture:

A swimming pool is the one conceivable place where a goggle mack might actually work. And when he's at a pool, what does Mystery do? He puts on headphones!? The most inappropriate pool electronic accessory? COME ON!


Newman said...

This is what Mystery would refer to as "peacocking" (ask brandon smith all about it). You do something to your appearance that draws attention (think 'streak of blonde in your hair').

The steampunk mack? Huge. huge.

Anonymous said...

Say what you want, but he still gets more ass than you ever will.

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